I’ve been having a bit of a rough few weeks…Months even. So my ‘real world’ job as I’ll call it for now – Is horrendous. I’ve had difficulties with my mental health since I was very young, most of which I’ve had a decent amount of control over for the past couple of years. Until the last few months. So this job – I’ve almost been there a year, started out stress full, settled down for awhile in the middle, and as of the recent months – has been horrendous
So I have a little problem with victimisation within my workplace. I’ll leave it at that for now. Because of it, my mental health has deteriorated towards the depth it used to be at (really not very fun at all) I’ve been having some very emotional days basically every day.
So around to the point of why I started what I do. I want to make a living enjoying what I do, I want to be okay, I want to be happy and enjoy my life. I have difficulties with stress – unless its something I’m extremely passionate about, then I don’t feel the stress. I feel the progress towards something I put my whole heart and soul into and it makes every second of work feel worth it. Something I have always hated the idea of, is living my life hating what I do. being miserable, staying in a dead-end job where every day is a never-ending ritual and I only just realised I’ve been doing exactly that.
I’m making a change
Things are going to be difficult for awhile again, I’m leaving my job and moving back home to pursue what I love. To put real effort into what I aspire to do.
I’d use the word ‘dream’ but it makes it sound fictional, like something that wont come true – and my ideas, plans, my wishes will come true – because I’m putting so much effort into it that I won’t let it not be real.
I refuse to live my life being disposable.